Vayishlach 1993

In the Torah portion Vayishlach we learn how Yaacov encounters his brother Esau after 22 years. We learn how he dreads this encounter because he does not know how his brother is going to receive him.  He assumes his brother is going to receive him violently because his brother is coming with 400 men.  He tries to make peace with his brother by sending him a present.  He also prays to G-d and he also takes military means by dividing his camp in two.  After he has already divided his camp in two he crosses the river to get a few little items and there he wrestles with an unknown assailant, who the rabbis interprets to be the guardian angel of Esau, all night until finally he subdues this unknown assailant and although he was had him in his power and he could dispatch him, instead he asks him to bless him.  It was then that the angel blessed him, but before he blessed him, though, during their struggle he had touched him in his thigh and when Jacob finishes this encounter and has been blessed by this unknown assailant and given the name Israel, but he also was limping because his sciatica nerve had been displaced. The rabbis all ask the question, what is really going on here in this dream, and some of them answer that actually Jacob at this time was thinking about running away.  That is what the Rashbam says because Jacob in the past had always run away from his problems.  When he had his problem originally with Esau he ran away to Laban and when he had a problem with Laban he ran away from Laban, and now when he coming to confront his brother it looked as if he was going to run away again, but he did not and that is one of the symbolisms of his limping.  What, though, is actually the difference between Esau and Yaacov?
The difference between Esau and Yaacov is really the difference between the Jewish conception of how people should act in this world to fill their incompleteness and other people's conception of how they should act in order to fulfill their incompleteness. We all know that we are born imperfect. We all know that we are not complete.  Therefore, it is our job to try to complete ourselves.  That is the whole symbol of circumcision and, of course, for women when they get married

the hymen.  The whole purpose of life is, in a certain sense, to complete oneself.
We know that originally Adam was both male and female and that G-d divided man
in half.  That's how the rabbis explain how Eve came to be, that Eve was not created
from Adam's rib but Adam, himself, was divided in two.  From then on man needs
a woman and a woman needs a man not only just physically but also emotionally
and mentally and psychologically.  Therefore, we are incomplete, but even when
we get married we only fulfill part of the void.  There is still a certain amount
of incompleteness to us.  Other religions and philosophies have other answers
of how you fill this void.  Some philosophies say that you do certain magical
acts.  Others say that you remain passive and you ingest certain things or you
take in certain spirits, and, of course, we know that the dominant religion in
this country says that if you will accept Jesus you will be fulfilled.  They use
the expression you will be saved, but we know that in Judaism that by being passive
we do not accomplish anything.  Judaism says that in order to be fulfilled, in
order to be complete we have to assume responsibility.  One of the problems with
Esau, although Esau, according to the rabbis, loved Judaism and loved Jewish ritual
and loved his father and mother, yet he was not willing to assume responsibility
to lead a totally Jewish life.  It was nothing for him.  He wanted to roam free.
He did not want to be fettered.  In fact, this is similar to the cowboy philosophy
of America which has caused so much trouble and wreaked so much havoc with so
many families in this country.  People want to roam free.  They do not want to
be tied down and, therefore, because they do not want to be tied down they desert
their families and they cause all sorts of mischief to occur.  They also cause
a lot of suffering, but Judaism,'s prescription for leading a fulfilling and fulfilled
life is to assume responsibility for yourself and for your family and for your
community and for your country.  That is why even to this day you find so many
Jews in do-good organizations because we know that we can get close to G-d when
we learn how to assume responsibility for ourselves and for others and especially

for our family.
That was what Jacob really stood for, the assumption of responsibility, and that, of course, is why when the angel touched his thigh he limped because it was to emphasize to him the reason why he was able to overcome all problems, the reason why he was able to become Israel was because he was a person who was tied to his family and to his tradition and to his people and to morality.  We could not do certain things.  A Jacob just cannot do certain things.  That is why it says that after the encounter he was limping.  "He was limping on his thigh." The rabbis ask, too, why did Esau change his mind? Why all of a sudden did Esau decide not to attack Yaacov? Why instead did he embrace him?
The rabbis say that when Esau saw Yaacov limping surrounded by women and children he thought to himself, is this what I want to be?  If this is what the blessing entails, to be tied down, not being able to roam free, that is not for me.  Therefore, he willingly gave the blessing back to his brother because he really did not want it.  He did not understand that this actually was what was going to bring him happiness.  He thought happiness came from roaming free.  Here we find that the whole secret of the Jewish success is because we have been able to be tied to a family, to a tradition.  Therefore, when Yaacov came from this encounter he was hobbled.  In a physical sense it showed how he could complete himself and it showed the distinction between him and Esau.  The rabbis also ask the question, why is it that from now on we do not eat the sciatica nerve? That is why in this country it is impossible to get a sirloin steak because it is too expensive, too labor intensive to remove the sciatica nerve so the slaughterhouses just sell the bottom half of the cow for the non-kosher trade, but in Israel you can get sirloin steak because they remove the sciatica nerve, but we do not to this very day eat the sciatica nerve.  The rabbis ask why was such a lesson taught this way? Why the lesson that we must be tied to a family, that we must assume our

responsibility, that the only way that we can amount to anything in this world is to assume responsibility for ourselves and for our family and for our people and for our community? Why was it taught by this type of a ritual way?
We all know that when a Jew becomes part of the Jewish people, when a Jew assumes his responsibilities as an adult Jew religiously he is called a Bar Mitzvah or a Bat Mitzvah, but why this ritual, act? The answer the rabbis give is that this Genanusha stood for two things.  One, it stood for the fact that Yaacov assume his responsibilities and demonstrated that he cannot run away and nobody if they want to be fulfilled and lead a Jewish life can run away from their responsibilities, and the second point was that the rabbis say that Jacob's sons were wrong because they let him go across the river alone to pick up the last few items.  They should never have allowed him to go alone.  When a person is troubled especially you do not let them be alone.  You go to them and see what you can do for them, and the Genanusha reminds us throughout all the generations that when we do not eat the sciatica nerve that the way we fulfill ourselves is by assuming responsibility for others, and also when we see people troubled we should never leave them alone. This is true for almost all the ritual acts that we have in Judaism.  When a woman lights the Shabbos candles she not only is proclaiming by this act that there is a G-d in the world and that G-d cares for us and that G-d created the world and that G-d gave us a position in the world and G-d created the Sabbath for rest, but she is also identifying with all the thousands of women who have lit candles for 3,500 years.  She is identifying with a whole people.  She is taking upon herself the responsibility for all the tradition.  That, of course, is why it is so important that we maintain the tradition because not only are the traditions good in themselves but they also attach us closer to our people and they also drive home to us very important lessons on how to live just and kind and compassionate and good lives.

I am reminded of the story they tell about a man who came to a psychiatrist's office and he came to the receptionist who was handling the incoming cases and said, "Nurse, nurse, you have to help me.  I have a terrible problem.  I have to see the psychiatrist immediately." The nurse asked what was wrong, what was his problem.  He said, "Well, I am invisible.  I think I am invisible.  I have to see the doctor immediately." He insisted and insisted so she went to see the doctor and the doctor said he was busy and could not see the man right then. The nurse said that the man was insisting and wanted to know what to tell him. The doctor said, "Well, just tell him I can't see him now." Unfortunately, there are many Jews and many people in the world who are invisible, who we cannot see. We cannot see them because they have never assumed responsibility for anything, responsibility for themselves or for their family or for their community, but they do demand that we help them and do things for them, but that is an impossible situation. We must, if we are to be fulfilled, if we are to be able to solve our problems, we must assume responsibility for ourselves and for others and by so doing we will also find that we get closer to G-d.  Just as Yaacov, after he was hobbled, after he was tied to others, then his name was changed to Yisroel. When you are tied to others then you can struggle with G-d and man and prevail because you will have the necessary inner resources to do so.  Let us all hope and pray that we will continue to have these inner resources so the Mashiach will come quickly in our day.  Amen.