Vayeshev 2001

In the Torah portion, Vayeshev, the rabbis are conflicted in how to handle Yehuda. It is true that he saved Yosef s life by having Yosef sold as a slave instead of letting him die in the it, or having the brothers kill him. He told the brothers, "What profit will there be if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, but let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother, our flesh," and the brothers listened to him.
After Yosef was sold to Egypt, we learn how Yehuda takes a Canaanite wife. Some say she was actually the daughter of a merchant. He has three sons by her. She dies. Meanwhile, he married his oldest son to Tamar. He dies. She then marries the second son, Onan, and he dies. When Shailah, the youngest son, comes of age, Yehuda is hesitant to marry him to Tamar. Tamar, though, is determined to become pregnant from Yehuda's family. She pretends she is a prostitute, and Yehuda, himself, comes to her.
The rabbis say that Yehuda was punished because he could have saved Yosef entirely, but, instead, he had him sold as a slave. In fact, Rashi asks, why is y of Yosef interrupted to tell us about Yehuda's escapades? It is
because when the other brothers the terrible grief of their father, they said, "You said to sell him. If you would have said to return him, we would have listened to you." When Yaacov blesses Yehuda before he dies, some rabbis say that he alludes to the fact that it was Yehuda who saved Yosef s life, because when it says, "A lion cut is Yehuda from the prey he elevated himself," which means that the prey was Yosef, and Yehuda elevated himself by saving Yosef. The rabbis disagree because some say Yehuda did everything he could do. The brothers really would not have listened to him. He judged the situation carefully and correctly. Others say that the brothers really would have listened to him. He misjudged his brothers, especially by saying, "What profit is there?" In other words, he introduced an element of greed.
It is important that when we deal with given situations that we speak the truth. We can present the truth in many different ways, but we should not degrade other people by underestimating them. It is like telling a person, "Oh, to keep the Shabbat all you have to do is make kiddush, and then afterwards you can go to the movies." Here, Yehuda was introducing an element of greed, was casting doubt on the brothers1 integrity, according to some rabbis. He should have just said, "We should not kill our brother. Let
us get rid of him another way by selling him to the Ishmaelites."
Reuven, on the other hand, was the one who really saved Yosef from his brothers1 hands because when they were all hot and ready to kill him, he said, "We shall not kill a soul." He also said, "Shed no blood. Throw him into this pit in the wilderness, but lay no hand on him." The Torah also comments that he said these things intending to rescue him from their hand and return him to their father. This is actually amazing because Reuven had the most to lose by Yosef staying alive. He knew that his father wanted to give all the first-born rights to Yosef. He wanted to give him the double portion, the spiritual and political leadership of the Jewish people. Reuven would be stripped of all his privileges; yet, it was Reuven who was intent upon saving Yosef. When Reuven returned to the pit, and Yosef was not there, he tore his garments, and he said to his brothers, "The boy is gone. Where can I go?" According to the Medrash, he had gone back to attend to his father, even though he knew that his father did not think much of him. Reuven was able to influence his brothers by telling the whole truth, but in a way they could understand. He did not disparage them by appealing to greed. He did not speak about Yisef s merits or Yosef s family ties; he just said it is wrong to kill, especially directly.
When we seek to influence people, we must know how to talk and what to say. We must tell the truth, but we have to marshal our arguments in such a way that people will listen to us without disparaging them. Reuven appealed to his brothers1 sense of morality. Many times, we know the same things happen in politics here. People do not want their property condemned by the government by imminent domain, but they speak about all sorts of environmental issues, road access, etc. Many times, their arguments are convincing but right, even though they do not represent their real motivations. We all know that even in the shul, many times people come up with objections to certain programs which are valid, even though their initial reaction was they did not want that program because they could not come, or they did not like that speaker, or we did not have the dishes or the date was really taken by a competing organization which would draw most of our members. To influence people, you have to know how to present the facts. You can present them one way and get a negative reaction, and present them another way and get a positive reaction. I am reminded of the story of the woman who came to her husband and said she had good news and bad news, but she wanted to tell him the good news first. He said, "Okay, go ahead." She said, "The airbags work."
We all know that many of the great rabbis, like Rabbi Akiba Eiger, were able to save their communities from terrible evil decrees of their noblemen or kings by showing how these decrees would hurt the king, lower his tax revenue throughout his kingdom, make it impossible to do trade, hurt his army by removing artisans needed. Never once did he speak specifically about the harm it would do the Jewish community. He was always effective. He told the truth, but in such a way that the king could understand it.
Arafat today made the statement, "Who needs America?" What a foolish statement! I am sure that now Congress will cut off the hundred million dollars they give him every year. He has refused every opportunity to make peace. He made a fool of General Zinini by condoning and allowing terrible terrorist acts while Zinini was trying to negotiate. People say if you get rid of Arafat, who will take his place? We did not say that in Afghanistan. We did not say, who will take the place of the Taliban? After all, the warlords could be much worse. We organized a conference in Bonn, and they now have a government. We can do the same thing with the Palestinians. We get rid of the PA and Arafat and organize a conference in Paris or any other city, and they can choose who they like.
It is important that we know how to influence people. We influence people by telling the truth, but telling the truth in such a way that they will understand that they should act in the correct way. Reuven unequivocally did this. There is some doubt among the rabbis whether Yehuda did it unequivocally. Yosef was saved, and the Jewish people continued. We all must learn how to present our arguments so we will truly influence the people around us for the better, otherwise people will look upon us as fools and not listen to us.
I am reminded of the story about Yiddish actress Lina Palestrina who in 1926 joined the exodus of many Yiddish actors and actresses to Hollywood. They decided to leave New York. She was asked why she was leaving, and she said, "Because nobody is here anymore, and, besides, it's much too crowded." She did not make much of a convincing argument. I am sure that her statement influenced no one. Let us all hope and pray that we will all be like Reuven and influence people for the best. Let us hope and pray we will be able to do so so the Mashiach will come quickly in our day. Amen.