VAYIGASH 2001

In the Torah portion, Vayigash, we learn how Yehuda said to Joseph right before Joseph revealed himself to his brothers, “How can I go up to my father if the youth is not with me?" The Chassidic interpretation of this is that Yehuda was not referring to Yaacov, but to his father in heaven. "How can I go up to my father in heaven if my youth is not with me?" In other words, Judah was saying for 22 years he had let his father believe that Joseph was dead. He had misled his own children. He had not shown them the correct example. How would it be possible for him now not to step forward and rescue Binyomin? He would lose his children. They would have no respect for him.
The same thing applies today. How when we go up to heaven can we face Hashem Mishporach if we have lost our youth? We have finally found the way to safeguard our youth, combining secular studies with Jewish studies in our day schools, and creating a generation of committed Jews. Unfortunately, there are many today who want to reject this formula of Torah and Madah. There are many who want to repeat the mistake of 60 years ago where religious Jews only wanted to give their children a religious education, and
wanted to forget about science and modern philosophy, etc. They almost lost all their children. On the other hand, there are those who did not want to give their children any religious education. They, too, lost their children. Why do we want to repeat the mistakes of the past? We finally have figured out a way to keep our children, and now there are some on the right who want to throw it all away, and those on the left would rather assimilate anyway. How can we go up to our father in heaven if our youth are not with us?
Let us hope and pray that those on the right will quickly come to their senses and realize that to keep our youth we need Torah and Madah if only to have people who will be able to support the yeshivas. Let us hope and pray that when we go up to our father in heaven we will have our youth with us.
In this Torah portion, Vayigash, we learn how Yehuda steps forward and assumes responsibility for Binyomin. He offers himself as a slave in place of Binyomin so Binyomin can go back to his father. Joseph cannot restrain himself, and he reveals himself to his brothers. The question has many times been asked, why is it that we are called Jews, which means that we are descendants of Judah? Why aren't we called Joes or Josephites? After all, it was Joseph who saved his brothers, even after they had wronged him by bringing them to Egypt and feeding them and protecting them from the consequences of the disastrous famine, which had overtaken the world. Even though Joseph acted in such a magnanimous was, we are not called Joes or Josephites; we are called Jews after Judah. What was it about Judah that caused us to be called after him?
Judah was a man who was able to assume responsibility. In this Torah portion, he assumes responsibility for his brother, Binyomin, and he steps forward. He was a man who assumed responsibility, no matter the consequences. He was not a perfect man, but he always got up again and tried to do better. King David, who was from the Tribe of Judah, followed in
this example. Even though he sinned with Bath Sheba, no matter what the precise definition of the sin, he admitted it, and he went forward. He learned this from his ancestor, Yehuda.

After Yehuda's wife died, he went and got together with whom he thought was a prostitute. Actually, it was his daughter-in-law, Tamar, who was waiting to become pregnant from Judah and his family. She had married Judah’s eldest son who had died childless. She then married the second son who also died childless, and she was supposed to marry the third son, but Judah was hesitant to give him to her, so she contrived this plan to appear to be a prostitute. When Judah came to her, he gave her his staff, his seal, and his cloak. These were all signs of leadership. He realized that by doing what he was doing, he was forfeiting the leadership. The next day when he sent his friend with a sheep as payment for the prostitute services, he could not find them. After several months, it was reported that his daughter-in-law, Tamar, was pregnant. She was brought before him, and he was to judge her. She did not say that it was Judah who got her pregnant. She said, "The man to whom this staff, seal, and cloak belongs got me pregnant." Judah admitted his responsibility. He said, "She is more righteous than I." Usually, success has a million fathers and failure is an orphan. No one wants to take responsibility
for a failure, but, here, Judah took responsibility. He proved himself to be a real leader Unless you are willing to take responsibility for your failures as well as your successes, you cannot be a leader. You cannot have it both ways.
When the famine became severe, and when the brothers came to their father, Yaacov, and said, "We have to go down to Egypt, and we have to bring our brother, Binyomin, with us, otherwise the viceroy will not give us any grain," Yaacov did not want to listen to them. Reuven said, "Let me be responsible for Binyomin, and if I do not bring him back to you, you can kill my two sons." In other words, you can do with my sons whatever you want. They are yours. Yaacov refused. First of all, he was never going to kill his grandchildren, but, more importantly, Reuven was not really shouldering complete responsibility. After all, if he would come back without Binyomin, he would just have to give his father his sons, and they would be it. He would be free, but Yehuda said to his father, "If I do not bring Binyomin back, I will sin to all my life" In other words, he would always be responsible. He would never be able to get out of this responsibility. That's why we are called Jews, because to be a Jew means to be responsible, not to blame others for your problems, not to seek excuses, but to assume

responsibility. A few weeks ago, someone came to my office and blamed all his problems on his parents. I asked him where his parents were now. He said they died 50 years ago when he was 10 years old. He never could assume responsibility for himself. Other people are always looking for scapegoats. That's not the Jewish way; We must all assume responsibility for ourselves, for our family, and for our community.
We all know that we are born incomplete. Different religions and philosophies teach us how to become complete. Some religions say you become complete by accepting love passively, by accepting someone or something's love, and you become transformed. We do not believe that. We believe you become transformed and complete by assuming responsibility. That's why marriage is the happiest occasion in Judaism, because the young couple is assuming responsibility for each other. It is the assumption of responsibility, which sanctifies a marriage, not love. Love brings a couple together, but it is the assumption of responsibility, one for the other, which sanctifies a marriage. I remember someone came to me about 20 years ago claiming that they were committing adultery by sleeping with their wife, because they no longer loved her. On the other hand, he claimed that by sleeping with his mistress, he was doing a holy act because he loved her.
That, according to Judaism, is 100% false. Love is not what sanctifies a relationship, but the assumption of responsibility.
Today, we have a bar mitzvah, and bar mitzvah does not mean that now you can go to the bar and order what you want, or it does not mean that from now on mitzvahs are barred to you. It means that now you are responsible for your acts. You cannot blame others for your moral or ritual deficiencies. You are called upon to be responsible. You now are a complete Jew in the sense that you are now responsible for yourself, for your family, and for your community. Jews have always accepted responsibility for themselves, their families, and their communities. That's why there are so many Jews in do-good organizations. By reading the newspapers, you would think that there are billions of Jews in the world, when really there are barely 13 million. There are more Catholics in Texas than Jews in the whole world. There are Jews in every do-good organization. Jews are found in all sciences and arts because we Jews know that we are responsible for the world, and must make it a better place. We hope and pray that all Jews will always be responsible and keep up to their name of Jew.

We are not called Josephites or Joes because Joseph was too engrossed in his
dreams. He was a good man, a righteous man, but the rabbis say he was going to enslave Binyomin because he wanted his father, Yaacov, to come down and bow down to him before he knew that he was Joseph. He, though, could not restrain himself, and he revealed himself to his brothers. Eventually, Yaacov did bow down to him when he requested that Joseph bury him in the land of Canaan. Yehuda, on the other hand, was not engrossed by his dreams, but he was dedicated totally toward being responsible.
I am reminded of the story about the man who applied for a job. The recruiter looked at his resume and said, "This is very good, but are you responsible?" The man replied, ""What do you mean, am I responsible? In my last job everything went wrong, and everybody there said that I was responsible." Each of us must act responsibly. Let us all hope and pray that we will all act responsibly in a positive way so the Mashiach will come quickly in our day. Amen.