VAYIGASH 1988

In the Torah portion Vayigash we learn how the brothers and Joseph are reconciled.  We learn how Judah steps forward to defend Benjamin, how this time he does not seek to destroy a brother who has his father's special love, but instead he tries to protect him.  Joseph could no longer restrain himself and he orders everyone to leave, and he makes known to his brothers who he is.  It says, "And he gave his voice in crying and they heard Egypt and they heard the house of Pharaoh."  It is very strange here that Joseph cried because we learned earlier that when Joseph was put upon by his brothers, when he was stripped of his coat, when he was thrown into the pit, and when he was sold into Egypt he did not cry.  We do not read how he cried when he was unjustly thrown into prison, but here we learn that he cried. Why should it be that Joseph cried now?
Joseph, we know, was wronged.  He was sold as a slave.  His brothers first intended to kill him, and selling a young man to Egypt as a slave meant usually that he would have a very short life.  How could the brothers have done this to Joseph? We learn, according to the rabbis, that the brothers felt they were justified in doing this because they thought Joseph was ruining the family.  Joseph had been getting special attention from their father, but, more than that, he was a tattletale.  He would continually go back to their father, Jacob, with all sorts of stories, some of which were not substantiated by the facts.  The brothers felt he was destroying the unity of the family.  He was causing their father to single him out and was creating jealousy among the brothers.  What's more, he had wild dreams of domination.  He set himself apart.  He thought he was too good for them.  Besides that, he had predicted the brothers would have to give up their profession of being shepherds, that they would have to go into farming, that times were changing and they would have to change with the times, that they would have to be something they did not want to be.  They

looked around them and saw that all the dissension in the family was really centered around Joseph, that if they could get rid of Joseph things would be okay.  Therefore, they felt justified in killing him, in taking him out of the family because he was ruining the family.  They thought then their father's love would be more equally distributed, that they would be able to continue their pursuits without the harassments of a Joseph, that they would get rid of a wild dreamer, a radical who was causing them to question their ways and wanting them to change their ways. Joseph, himself, as a young man was a very self-centered young man.  He thought that everyone should love him because he was beautiful, because he was precious, because he was good, because he was so smart.  He was not sensitive at all to the feelings of others.  Joseph only began to amount to something when he began to hear the dreams of others, when he became sensitive to the aspirations and dreams of others.  When he began to listen to the dreams of the butler and the baker then his whole world turned around.  Joseph could only think about himself.  In fact, the rabbis say that when he went searching for his brothers, when his father had sent him to look how they were getting along in Schem, it says he was lost in a field.  He asked a man saying, "What do you seek?11  This seems to be an interpolation of the text.  The rabbis explain that when it says he was lost in a field that it meant that he was lost in the same field that Cain killed Abel, that normally when you say that a person is lost you say that he is lost in a forest or the mountains but not lost in a field.  Joseph could not understand that he was in any danger whatsoever.  He was lost in the field where Cain killed Abel.  He did not realize that when you incite jealousy, when you are not sensitive to the needs of others, you are going to incite hatred.  Joseph was a foolish young man who did not realize the great emotions that he was stirring in other people.

Why, though, was it that Joseph did not cry when he was seized and sold
but he cried now?  The rabbis say that Joseph, in a certain way, was acting
foolishly here when he told all his bodyguards and interpreters to leave
and that he would confront these gentlemen himself.  It was 11 to one.
The brothers did not know that this was Joseph.  Wouldn't they perhaps
take the law into their own hands and seize Joseph?  Joseph was sensitive
to his brothers.  He did not want to reveal himself to them in front of
others.  Why did he cry, the rabbis say?  Because he was sensitive to their
shame.  He really how ashamed they were going to be, that they would recoil
from him, that they would be filled with guilt, because he knew that his
brothers, although they sold him, were basically good people.  It is good
people who do bad things, many times, and the reason they are still good
people is because they feel guilt.  Bad people when they do bad things
do not feel any guilt.  They think they have done the right thing.  Joseph
was sensitive to them.  This, of course, was what made reconciliation possible.
What is it that makes reconciliation possible?  Only when parties to a
conflict are both sensitive to the pain that they give to each other, not
that they agree with each other because we can all read situations differently.
In life it is inevitable that there will be conflict.  Nothing stands still
in life.  The only thing that stands still in life is the grave, but when
things are working then there always has to be conflict.  Within the body
different elements always work against each other, and that, of course,
makes for the different bodily functions to work in an orderly way.  Life
goes on and when life goes on it creates all sorts of problems.  Children
grow up and when children grow up you have to let go although it is hard
to let go.  When people cry at weddings they do not just cry from happiness.
They cry because things are changing.  Different relationships have to
be established.  Different loyalties are now in place.  The future is uncertain,
there are new forces at play.  Life can never stand still.  Inevitably
there is going to be conflict.  Inevitably people are going to look at things from their own perspective.
Reconciliation is always possible.  It is true that sometimes people use undue force and sometimes people use tricks and manipulation, and that hurts even worse than the points of views that may be opposing you, but, yet, reconciliation is possible as long as each side is sensitive to each other, not that they agree with each other, but that they are sensitive to why they are doing what they are doing.  Joseph could now be sensitive to his brothers.  He could understand why they sold him even though he knew and we know that that was completely wrong.  It did not help the family. The father was completely crushed.  The father did not love the brothers more, and the brothers ended up doing degrading acts to themselves, that eventually the brothers had to solve the problems of change, that they did not accomplish anything at all by their act even though they thought they were justified in doing it.  They were 100% wrong, but at least now Joseph could now understand why they were doing what they were doing. He could put himself in their place and they, in order to be reconciled to Joseph, had to be able to put themselves in Josephfs place.  Joseph cried.  He cried because he understood their shame.  He understood why they did what they did and how wrong they were.
Later on we learn how when Joseph sends the brothers back to his father, Jacob, and tells them to bring his father back down to Egypt, the brothers go up to Jacob and tell him that Joseph is still living.  His first impulse is that his heart grows faint and he does not want to believe them, but when they show him the wagons that Joseph had sent to them he believes them.  Why should he have believed them when they show him the wagons? The rabbis say that all these years Jacob felt guilt.  He did not know
that the brothers had sold Joseph to Egypt.  He did not know that they
had attacked him.  All they had done was given him the coat that was smeared
with blood and said, "Do you recognize this?" He said, "Oh, my son, my
son has been torn by a wild beast."  But all these years he had been troubled
by guilt.  The guilt was, how did I send an unknowing boy like this to
see his brothers, a person who was so self-absorbed and self-centered that
he could not cope with the dangers of the world? How could I have sent
him up to see his brothers?  He had no way of dealing with the dangers
of the world because he was only absorbed in himself.  Why did Joseph send
wagons?  Because, the rabbis say, the last thing they were learning together
was about the Egla Rufa, and a certain ceremony had to be gone through
by the elders of a city.  If, for example, a person was found dead outside
their city that the elders of the city had to go through a special ceremony.
They had to swear that this man did not come to them asking for food or
clothing or shelter and that they turned him away and, therefore, he had
to go out of the city and act as a brigand and in his act of robbing somebody
he, himself, was killed by a merchant or passerby in self-defense.  They
had to say that they were not responsible for this, that they had provided
the necessary food and clothing and shelter for this man so that they did
not force him to become a brigand.  This is the type of sensitivity that
we all have to have, that Jacob was sensitive himself that maybe he did
not treat his beloved Joseph right.  When he saw the wagons he knew that
Joseph harbored ill feelings toward him, that Joseph realized that his
father acted in his best interests.  In order for us to be reconciled to
each other we have to be sensitive to each other.  We have to understand
each other's positions although we may not agree with them and although
we may consider them very wrong, but in order to have reconciliation we
must understand each other.  We must be sensitive to each other.  This
is the only way that reconciliation can be had.  People should not bear
grudges.  We should forgive each other as Joseph forgave his brothers, even crying because he was sensitive to their plight.
I am reminded of the story of a golfer who usually golfed in the high 80's
or low 90's.  This day he had a terrible day.  He golfed 160.  As he was
coming back to the clubhouse he turned to his caddy and said, "You know,
you are the worst caddy in the whole world.” The caddy said, "I don't
think so."  The man asked why not, and the caddy replied, "Because it would
be too much of a coincidence."  That golfer, of course, was not sensitive
at all.  In order for us to solve our problems, in order for us to be reconciled
to each other we have to understand each other's point of view even though
we may never agree with what the person did and even feel that the person
acted in a morally insensitive and wrong way.  Let us always hope that
we will always understand each other's positions so that we can be reconciled
with everyone.