VAYIGASH 1985

The underlying theme of the Torah portion Vayigash is, be careful of assumptions. We should always probe what is real and what is just an assumption.  Assumptions can cause a great deal of confusion and can give us the wrong picture of the way things are.  In this Torah portion Judah thinks he is talking to an Egyptian, the Viceroy of Egypt, when actually he is talking to his brother, Joseph.  Jacob assumes his son, Joseph, is dead and will not believe his other sons that Joseph is alive.  Jacob does not believe that G-d will let him go down to Egypt when this is not the case.  Joseph assumes that what is good for Pharaoh will be good for all Egypt.  All these assumptions prove to be false.  Why is it that companies like to hire college graduates?  In most instances their college degrees have nothing to do with the job they are performing. The reason is because college graduates think the same and talk the same.  They make the same assumptions.  This makes communication easier, but sometimes it can lead to disaster because all the problems are thought of the same way, and when a new product is invented or a new way of doing things is thought of, if it does not fit the pattern of their thinking it is disregarded even though it may be a better way.  The Japanese have taught us this.  The brothers made assumptions that if Joseph were out of the way their father, Jacob, would love them more, but it turned out he loved them less. He was so involved in mourning he did not have any love left to share with his children. It is very important we know what we are doing.  The brothers made five different assumptions about Joseph and they were all wrong.  They assumed that he wanted to rule over them.  They assumed that if they would sell him as a slave he would die. They assumed that their father would love them more if he was out of the way.  They assumed that the Viceroy of Egypt could not be Joseph.  They assumed that Joseph would treat them badly.  All these assumptions proved to be false.  Perhaps this is why Joseph gave Benjamin five suits and his brothers only one suit of clothes to highlight the fact that the brothers had failed to distinguish between assumptions and reality. The word for "suit” in Hebrew "Chaleefa" means "to pass, to change."  The brothers confused permanence with passing fancy.  This is what, many times, we all do.  In fact, Joseph did it himself when he thought that by helping Pharaoh concentrate all

power in his hands he would do good for himself and Egypt.  It turned out that he planted the seeds of hatred among the nobility and peasants toward the Jews.  They had no sympathy for Joseph or his descendants because they had undermined their power and position.  We must be very careful to determine what is an assumption and what is reality.  We must never fool ourselves otherwise we will end up causing much grief. I am reminded of the story they tell about an actor who always bragged and bragged and bragged about how good he was and how much money people paid to see him.  One day another actor, after listening to him for several minutes, said, "You know, you must be right because there is a man I know in Philadelphia who would pay $1,000,000 to see you act." The braggart said, "Is that right?" The other actor answered, "Yes, he is blind.  He would pay $1,000,000 to see anybody act." We must be careful about reality and assumption.
In the Torah portion Vayigash we learn how Joseph reveals himself to his brothers,  His brothers, of course, are taken aback,  They do not know what to say.  Joseph then talks to them and says, "I am Joseph your brother that you sold to Egypt.  Don't be sad. Don't be angry because you sold me here, because G-d sent me before you to preserve life/1  He then repeats himself and says, "G-d sent me before you to make for you a remnant in the land, to cause you to live for a great deliverance.  You did not send me here, but G-d."  In a way this is hard to understand.  It looks as if Joseph is exculpating the brothers from all responsibility. He is telling them, "You didn't send me here but G-d." Obviously, the brothers meant ill and not good.  Joseph recognizes-this because he said, "You sold me."  However, it seems at first glance that Joseph is relieving the brothers of all responsibility.  He is, in effect, telling them that even though they meant ill since it turned out good, everything is all right.
This type of reasoning, though, is absurd,  According to this type of reasoning, the greatest hero for American Jewry should be Nicolas II of Russia because he made pogroms in 1881 and 1882 and killed a few hundred Jews, millions of Jews fled Russia and came to the United States and other countries.  If he would not have made these pogroms, then Hitler would have wiped us all out when he swept through Russia.  This, of course, is absurd,  When we mean to do ill, G-d can take the evil we do and even make it good.  We cannot thwart G-d's plans,  However, we are still responsible for trying to do evil.  I remember that a friend of mine was a stock broker and was mad at another friend of mine because he thought he had stolen his girlfriend.  In fact, this other friend of mine actually married the girl.  This second
friend inherited a little money.  He did not know my stockbroker friend was mad at him so he gave my stockbroker friend a considerable amount of money to invest for him.  My stockbroker friend was still angry at him so he did everything possible to see that the money was lost.  Of course, the stock market is not always predictable.  Instead of causing my friend to lose money, he made him a multimillionaire.  fly friend was so grateful to my stockbroker friend that he gave him a Cadillac  My stockbroker friend just could not stand it.  He was consumed with anger and guilt.  He had trouble with his guilt and anger.
This, I think, is what Joseph is telling his brothers.  He is telling them, "You now have a difficult thing, because you have to live with your conscience,  You have caused an awful lot of suffering.  It did turn out well, but I suffered, our father suffered, and you suffered."  In fact, after he tells the brothers these things it says that "he cried and he kissed all his brother and he cried all night".  We do not know of any place else where Joseph cried.  He did not cry when they seized him and threw him into a pit.  He did not cry when they sold him.  It doesn't say in the text that he cried when he was unjustly seized and thrown into prison.  Nowhere do we learn that Joseph cried. We only learn he cried here.
The rabbis teach us that if we would all cry like Joseph then quickly the Masiach would come and we would all be redeemed. What does this mean, that if we all cried like Joseph the Mashiach will come? Joseph cried not because he hurt, but he cried for his brothers.  He sympathized and empathized with them.  He knew what they were going through, that they had to live with their own conscience.  They were consumed with guilt. That's why they were abashed before him.  They could not really talk to him.  He told them, "Don't be sad.  Don't be angry." There are usually two responses that happen when a person tries to do evil.  If he succeeds, he usually feels depressed because he did this terrible evil, and he cannot take it back.  So many people are hurt and suffering because of him.  The second response is usually that if a person does evil and does not succeed, he is angry.  He becomes angry at himself for being such a small person acting in such a petty way.  He does not have the inner respect and self-dignity that he should have.  The guilt will consume him.  What Joseph is telling his brothers is, "Get rid of that guilt.  Admit that you have done wrong, and then you will not have trouble with it, and you will be able to live a good and a right life."
Maybe that is why Joseph put the brothers through the kind of test that he did.  The rabbis are all very bothered by what Joseph did.  What right did he have to play 0-6, to keep one brother in jail, to try to get them to bring Benjamin down, and then when they brought Benjamin down, to frame him with saying they stole his cup and he was going to make Benjamin a slave? Why did he make his brothers suffer this way? The rabbis answer that perhaps Joseph was just doing what the Rambam says is important if we are to do Teshuva, that Joseph knew his brothers bore a lot of guilt.  The Rambam tells us the way we know we are forgiven for the sins we have done and no longer have to bear guilt is that when we come to a similar situation, an almost identical situation to the situation in which we sinned the first time, and we do not stumble the second time and are able to resist the temptation, then we can rest assured that we have done proper Teshuva and are forgiven.  Perhaps Joseph went through this charade so the brothers would know they were forgiven, that the brothers should not bear any animosity for each other, that they should not feel depressed or feel hatred or anger toward each other, that they should not blame each other for what happened but be able to live together in peace and harmony with love and affection.  Joseph knew that slavery and some terrible times awaited them in Egypt.  He knew about the prophecy that was given to Abraham,  That was one of the reasons the brothers hated him because he, according to the rabbis, was constantly telling them they had to change, and they did not want to change.  They knew they had to change because they were going to Egypt and there they would be enslaved,  If they were going to be enslaved, they had to stick together otherwise they could never live through the slavery,  They could never endure it.  We all know that guilt is a terrible thing, but if we admit that we have done wrong, if we say we made a mistake and then continue, 0-6 will forgive us and we will be able to live with ourselves without anger or depression.
This, unfortunately, is a lesson people fail to learn.  Even today our administration is doing one foolish thing after another instead of admitting they made a mistake.  They try to cover up to pretend they did not make a mistake.  This just makes things worse.  This, of course, is true in interpersonal relationships as well.  People should admit when they have done wrong. Everyone has a temper and says things and writes things that they do not mean.  What they should do is just admit the mistake, say they won't do it again, and go on.  That is all that is required. We say that G-d will forgive us for all our errors as long as we apologize to the person we have wronged.  We say we are sorry and will not do it again,  This was essential if the brothers were to live together in peace and harmony.  Of course, Joseph heard how the brothers decried what they had done earlier, how they had said, "Maybe we are punished now not for what we have done now but for what we did to our brother, Joseph."  Admitting you have sinned and continuing on is the only way we can live.  Trying to bear guilt is not the way to live.  We must get rid of guilt, and the only way to get rid of guilt is to admit we made a mistake, and then be assured that G-d will forgive us.  If we do not admit the mistake, though, we will have problems all our life.  That's why Joseph cried for his brothers because he knew the problems they would have to endure.  They would have to get rid of the guilt.  If they would own up to their mistake, they would have no problem.  If not, they would have a problem.
I am reminded of the story they tell about a rabbi who had to go to the next town in Europe.  He hired a teamster to take him. This teamster had an old horse.  As they left the first town they had to go up a steep hill.  The teamster turned to the rabbi and said, "Would you mind walking? My horse is old, and it is hard for him to get up the hill."  When they got up to the top of the hill they were to go down a very steep hill to the next town. The teamster again turned to the rabbi and said, "Would you mind walking?  It is very hard for my horse to hold the wagon and us." When they got to the bottom of the hill it had just rained and was very muddy.  They had to walk over a plane to get to the town.  Again, the teamster turned to the rabbi and said, "Do you mind walking?  It is so hard for my horse to pull us in the mud." They walked and finally got to the town.  There the rabbi looked at the teamster and said, "I understand why I had to come to this town.  I have to give a lecture.  I understand why you had to come to this town because you had to show me the way and earn a living, but why did we have to bring the horse?"  It is the same thing with guilt.  We do not have to bury it or keep it.  What we should do is admit our mistakes and go on.  If we try to cover them up and refuse to admit them we will make it worse for ourselves and everybody else.