VAYETZE 1986

In this Torah portion we learn how Jacob has a dream of angels ascending and descending.  We also learn where is says, "Vayeefga Bamokom, - he lie in a place and he was wounded - Vayeeskav Bamokom Hahv and he lay down in the place and he was sick".    But notice he was sick because he did not think that he, a man of intellect and knowledge, could do what he did:  trick his brother and be forced to move. He did not know what to do.  After he had this dream, though, he understood better.  "Vayeekatz Yaacov - Mishoso and Jacob woke up from his sleep."  The rabbis explain this can also mean "he woke up from his learning".  It is not just enough to have a mind.  You also have to have feelings and know how to respond to other people's feelings. Not everything in life is logical.  That's why we say at the end that he  dedicated  a monument.     It   says   "Vayeetzock  shemen   -  and he poured oil on the head of the monument".  Why did he do that?  Usually, we pour wine, not oil.  The reason for it is because he realized that if he was to be a mentsch and make his way in the world, he not only had to have intellect, but he had to have a heart.  He had to respond to the feelings of others.  Things are not always logical. We don't live like a Mr. Spock in Star Trek.  We live with our head and our heart.  We have to combine them.  That's, of course, what the first letter shin in simcha means joy.  We have joy when we can bring happiness to others.  We bring happiness to others when we understand and accept them.  The mem means "Mishpocha - family". You can only have a family when you understand everybody in their mishagas and try to impose categories on them.  Finally, the nun
stands for "Navona - understanding".  Understanding is the product
of the combination of the mind and heart.  Jacob could now face the
world.  He was no longer afraid.  Before he was afraid because he
 
did not understand how things went wrong.  He thought he followed all the books.  His mind was perfect.  He did everything the way the books said, but he did not engage his heart as well as his head. Now he knew he could overcome all problems because he knew that he could attack problems both with his head and his heart.  He had no fear now of going to Mesopotamia.  He now could meet Laban, his uncle, on equal terms.  He could deal with him.  He could overcome all problems because he knew now that he had the capacity to use his head and his heart.
 
We Jews live by both the moon and the sun, not just the moon or the sun.  The moon teaches us that we can come back, we can recover from all problems.  We can renew ourselves.  We are never so down that we can never come back.  Judaism is also an optimistic religion. We just don't wallow in problems.  We just don't take pleasure in pain.  WE also believe in the sun, in the optimism of the future. Yes, we can overcome problems but not just to endure problems, not just to, so to speak, to bear them, to carry them and be martyred by them, but that we can overcome problems so we can get to a new day, a day on which the sun will shine bright.  We believe we can overcome our problems, and we will overcome our problems.
I am reminded of the story of they tell about a sardine on the bottom of the ocean.  He saw a big submarine coming.  He got scared and said, "I'm scared, I'm scared." His friend said, "Don't be scared. That's just a can of people." We can overcome all problems, and we will overcome all problems.
 
In the Haphtorah for the Torah portion Vayetze, we read, "And Jacob fled into the field of Ahron, and Jacob served for a wife, and for a wife he guarded".    The second sentence says, "And by a prophet the Lord brought out Israel from Egypt and by a prophet was he kept".    These two sentences are put into juxtoposition one to another.    It seems really strange that these two things are compared:    Jacob's serving for a wife, and also Israel being brought out by a prophet and being protected by a prophet.    In other words, Jacob, himself, was protected because he had a wife. We do know that in the Torah portion Jacob served for Rachel for 14 years.    He worked for her for 7 years and was then tricked into marrying Leah, and then worked for her another 7 years. Jacob really loved Rachel with all his heart.    But why are these two things connected, how Israel was guarded by a prophet, how they were taken out of Egypt because of a prophet, how Israel served for a woman and for a wife he guarded?    In other words, his life was enhanced because he married just as the Jewish people's lives were enhanced when they were taken out of Egypt.
Perhaps the clue to this juxtopostion of these sentences can be found in Toldos where we read how, when Rifka was pregnant the boys, Yaacov and Esau, were struggling in her midst and she could not stand the pain and went to inquire of G-d, and she was told, of course, the famous prophecy of two nations being in her womb. It explains that when she would pass a house of idol worship or house of debauchery, then Esau would want to come out.    It says, "Vayeratz Yeisrotzais - and he would run and struggle to get out", and when she passed a house of learning or a house of study, then it says, "Vayisrotzais - and Jacob struggled to get
 
out".    It did not, though, say that he ran to get out.    It just said that he struggled to get out.    In other words, the rabbis say that people follow their "Yaitzer Hora - passionate inclination" with greater zeal than they do the Yetzer Tov - the good inclination".    Jacob, up to this time, had been a student. He had been divorced from the world.    He had been divorced from all passion, sitting studying quietly in his tent.    All of a sudden, he was thrust into life.    He did not know how to handle life.    His mother prevailed upon him to trick his father and get his brother's blessing and his brother's full hatred now descended upon him.    He did not know where to turn.    He thought he had acted in a logical way.    He forgot that man also has passions.    He now had to flee to Mesopotamia.
When he first came to Mesopotamia he fell passionately in love with Rachel.    The rabbis tell us that passion is not bad.    In fact, they say the Yetzer Hora, which is sometimes translated the evil impulse, is really a very good impulse, a good thing. That's why it said when G-d created the world "Polmol - very good".    That refers to passion.    It is only when passion is not bounded by common sense and morality that passion is bad.    When it says here that Jacob served for a wife and for a wife he was guarded.    He guarded her and was guarded by her.    The passion added much to his life.    He needed not just intellect but also passion.    It is interesting to note that the same word, "Rah -bad" in Hebrew also means friends.    We talk about "Reimhahuvim -good friends".    Also, the word "Rayatov", which we put on wedding invitations, is "mate".    It refers to a spouse.    That word also means "shepherd", too.    The same word "Rah" has a connotation of friends, spouse, and a shepherd.    Why should this be?
We juxtaposed passion together with morality.    The prophet
 
brought them out Israel from Egypt and by a prophecy they were guarded.    We are not supposed to suppress our emotions in Judaism.    We are supposed to express our emotions.    We are supposed to be filled with passion, passion hedged in by the prophets and morality.    When Jacob fled he was only Yaacov, he was only half a man.    He still was not Yisrael who had to struggle with life and with people and with passion.    When he was able to be a man of passion, he also had his passion hedged by morality.    Then he became the true Yisrael, the true Israel.    To do good is sometimes very hard in the sense that we do not have the same passion and commitment to do it as the desires of our heart.    When we have to write that check to charity sometimes the pen just doesn't want to go down.    When it comes to passion we all feel its strength.    When it comes to doing good it is sometimes easy to push it back.    That's why it said that Jacob only struggled to get out.    He did not run to get out.    What we are supposed to do is combine passion with good.    Then we can be the people we are supposed to be.    We should not be afraid of making commitments.    We should not be afraid life or passion. What we are to do is learn to hedge in passion with morality.
We should not be just observers in life.  People are afraid to commit themselves.  That's why the word "Rayeem" also means friends because in order to have friends you must have passion. You must want to be with people and have feelings for people. This is the same reason why a person's spouse is called "Rayato - best friend" because in order to have a good marriage you must be passionately committed to your spouse.  Passion is not bad.  Passion is good as long as it is hedged in with morality.  Unfortunately, in our day and age we force people to choose between passion and rationality.  If a person is
 
an intelligent observer of something he is    supposed to be
dispassionate while, on the other hand, if    a person indulges
in passion he is supposed to do it without    any regard for
morality or common sense.
We in Judaism say we need both, that Jacob could not become Israel until he had passion, but passion hedged by morality. We must have both.  We must have moral discipline and passion. This takes a lot of effort to learn to balance these forces, but if we do we can have a good and fulfilling life.
I am reminded of the story of a couple in their 90's who were sitting in their recreational room.  The woman looked at her husband and said, "Darling, would you please go upstairs and get me a chocolate sundae and vanilla ice cream with chocolate fudge?"  The man said, "Of course, darling, I would be happy to do it." He started to leave and his wife said, "Write it down, write it down.  You'11 forget." He said, "No, I won't forget." He then left and about 20 minutes later returned with a bagel.  She looked at him and said, "See, I told you you would forget.  Where is the cream cheese?" Unfortunately, in our day and age we forget that we must have passion and intellect, that we must wed passion with morality, that you just don't have passion or intellect, that you can have both as long as they are wedded to morality.  In our day and age people either wallow in passion or they want to be completely disinterested participants in life.  We need to have both these qualities wedded to morality.