VAYECHI 1994

In the Torah portion Vayechi we learn how Yaacov calls Yosef and he tells him to bring his two children, Ephraim and Menashe, and that he is going to bless them. Not only did he bless them at that particular time but we all know that every Friday night the father of the houses blesses his boys with the blessing, "May G-d make you as Ephraim and Menashe." A father blesses his girls with the following blessing, "May G-d make you as Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah." The question can be asked, why is it that the boys are blessed to be like Ephraim and Menasha? After all, Ephraim and Menasha were not Gvos, not the patriarchs of the Jewish people. They were not Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. When we bless the girls we bless them by the matriarchs. We hope that they will be like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah. After all, the matriarchs were on a much higher level than anyone else and so were the patriarchs, so how is it that we bless our boys by hoping that they will be like Ephraim and Menasha? Why don't we bless them that they should be like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob? Why do we bless them with the blessing they should be like Ephraim and Menasha?
If we look at Yaacov’s blessing we will see that it in a way is not clear.  It says that he blessed Yosef and he said, "G-d, to whom my forefathers walked before, Abraham and Isaac, and the G-d Who has shepherded me from the day of my birth until this day and the angel who has saved me from all evil, He shall bless these boys, and my name shall be called by them, and the name of my fathers, Abraham and Isaac, and they shall grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth." Why did he give them such a blessing?
If we look at the Book of Genesis, the Book of Bereshis, we can see that in many ways this is a book against primogenater. This is a book against the right of the firstborn. England and France had to be colonizing countries because the firstborn got everything and the second, fourth, fifth, etc. son got nothing. That's why the second and third or fourth son had to either go to the church or the army or go into business because he inherited nothing, and if a second, third, or fourth

son wanted land he had to leave England or France and go to another country. In Jewish law there is not a right of primogenitor. According to the Torah, any member of the family of King David could be king, although generally it was the oldest son who took over from his father, but here in the first book of the Torah we see that there is conflict between which son should take the pride of place. Even in Jewish law today the eldest son gets an extra portion. That's why Yosef was given two tribes, Menasha and Ephraim because he was given the firstborn's first portion, although he really was not the firstborn. He was the firstborn of his mother but he was not the firstborn of Yaacov. That, of course, was Reuven.  If we look through the Book of Bereishis we will see that we have the trouble between Cain and Abel, between Avraham and Nochar, according to the Medrashic sources, and then, of course, specifically we have it between Ishmael and Yitzchak and, of course, between Yaacov and Esau. We also have it between Yosef and his brothers. The only two brothers who it seems could get along without having an intense rivalry was Ephraim and Menasha. This is a quality that Yaacov wanted to bless the Jewish people with, that they should all get along as brothers without this terrible rivalry. Also a theme of the Book of Bereishis is a question of family versus talent. We all know that if a person has talent he should be given the opportunity to develop that talent, but what if that talent is in conflict with the family? We all know that different societies have different rules and regulations about inheritance, about other things, and we would like to pretend that we all follow rules but really there are always exceptions to rules and talented people are people who always look for exceptions to the rules. In this country we seem to pride ourselves on the fact that almost everything is dependent upon rules and there is no favoritism, etc., which we contrast many times with Israel and other countries where there seems to be favoritism. In fact, in Israel they have a name for that particular phenomenon* as well.  In this country it is not true everything goes by the rules. We seem to look at football as the epitome of the American way of doing things, and, in
fact, we try to think and explain that football is a very precise game. What do we mean by a very precise game? When a team is about ready to get a first down and it is close we take out the chains and we measure. If the tip of the ball is beyond the chains then that team gets the first down and it all seems very precise, but the trouble is it is not precise at all because it all depends on where the referee decided to put the ball down.  It could be .anywhere from 3 yards to one side or the other. He could claim that he went out of bounds or slid on the turf and was really down before and there is so much judgment involved in where the referee puts the ball. The referee can influence the game decisively. The same thing is true when a person applies for a job at a firm. Everybody thinks it is all dependent upon his resume and looking at credentials, but the truth of the matter is if you know somebody there you can call them up and tell them to put your resume on the top of the pile so you get the job ahead of anybody else. We all know that in Israel they call it protexia when people seem to jump ahead of others in getting privileges and jobs.  In every society you have to know the tricks about how to do things. If you know somebody it always helps.  In Israel you can usually get your way if you cry and scream and yell and appeal to Jewish Rachmones. I remember an Israeli couple who came here who were very shocked because they had a defect on one of the passports of one of their children. They came to the American passport official and he noticed that the name was spelled wrong and he would not let them in the country. He made them go back because their passport was wrong, but in Israel if you scream and yell and the baby cries they will let you in because it is obviously just a clerical error. It is not something of great importance, so in every country you have to know what the rules are and how to follow the rules and how to break the rules. We all know that talented people many times break the rules and one of the big themes of Bereishis is where does talent take over from family? According to the traditions of those days the firstborn received the spiritual leadership, the political leadership, much of the property, and here there were talented people
who were not firstborn who were much more talented than the firstborn. What should they get? This is one of the themes of the Torah, that talented people have a right to get ahead, too. Of course, in this country we believe that talented people should get ahead no matter what, and we do not care about family and traditions and so forth. In fact, that is one of the reasons why 30?o of the children in Houston live in poverty because families have no standing in America. Uncles do not have to support and give money to nephews and nieces and grandparents have no responsibility to their grandchildren. Even parents have no responsibility to their own children after a certain age, but this is something unheard of in Israel where even to this day uncles and aunts are raised by social pressure are expected to give money to nieces and nephews to buy apartments, etc. We all know that family in America is very weak, that this balance between talent nad family has completely disintegrated in America. The only thing that is stressed is talent and if your family gets in the way, then too bad for your family.
Yaacov was trying to tell something very important when he blessed Menashe and Ephraim together. When he placed his right hand on Ephraim and his left on Menasha he was telling them something. He was telling them that talent, is important. Therefore, I am putting my right hand on Ephraim because he was more talented than Menasha. Menasha, though, is also worthy of blessing. We also have to consider family and the importance of family. We cannot skip over these things. That is why he gave them the particular blessing that he gave them because he said, pursue your talent but make sure you fulfill these family responsibilities. This is what Judaism had tried to do, always tried to allow people to fulfill their talents but still be bound by their family responsibilities.  It is similar to the minyan. In a minyan everybody really prays themselves. The chazzan just says the last few lines of every paragraph. Everybody does their own thing but they do it in a unified way where they each help each other, more or less, to pray. This is, of course, what the family does, too.  It says, "And he blessed Yosef and he said..." What does

he mean bless Yosef? Yosef had such a great talent and his talent was so far ahead of his brothers that even Yaacov thought it best that he be submerged and the tribes are not called Yosef but Menashe and Ephraim. He said, "G-d, before whom my forefathers walked, Abraham and Isaac,..." the first part of the blessing was to develop your talent but make sure that you still stay within the Jewish fold and help the Jewish people and help other people pursue their religious way, too. Don't be dogmatic because there are several ways. As long as you follow Halacha and Jewish tradition there are many ways to find G-d in the Jewish tradition. Abraham found Him through nature, Yitzchak through personal experience, and Yaacov himself, found it through history.
The second caveat is that G-d who shepherded me, who sustained me from my birth
until now, that if you want to pursue your talent, fine., but you also have a financial
responsibility to your family and must help them. You must help them start businesses.
If they get in trouble you have to give them loans, etc., the way the immigrant
generation used to help each other, and then it says, "And the angel who saved me
from all trouble, he should bless these boys." We also have a personal responsibility
to be there for people in trouble, in sickness, in death. If there is a joy we
should also be there with our personal presence, that it requires our personal presence
to be there to help support our family especially in times of trouble. This was
Yaacov's blessing. Yaacov said, true, pursue talent. It is wonderful, but also
make sure that you are also bound by family. Make sure you are also bound by the
traditions of our people and that you do not go beyond or outside of Judaism.
Make sure that your fellow Jews can also practice their religion by supporting religious
institutions and helping your family receive a Jewish education. The second thing
is physical. You must help your family with your means, with your money. The third
thing you must help your family with your person. If you do these things then develop
your talent all you want.

I am reminded of the story they tell about how sometimes it is so very frustrating when you try to help people, sometimes even talented people, and no matter how you help them they do not appreciate it. They tell a story about a man who came to a woman in a post office. His hand was in a cast and he had a postcard in his hand and he told the woman, "I can't write. Could you please address my letter?" The woman said she would be happy to. Then he said, "Could you also please on the other side write a small little message?" She said she would be happy to do it. After she finished the message she turned to him and said, "Is there anything else I can do for you?" He answered, "Yes, could you please write a P.S. Please excuse the handwriting." Unfortunately, there are people who do not appreciate what families have done for them and they do not appreciate, even talented: people, what their family has done for them and they turn on their family in order to promote their talent even further. This is wrong. Talented people are also bound by family. In Judaism we say that it is not true that everything should go to the firstborn. Talent is important but talent must be balanced by family responsibilities. If talent is balanced by family responsibilities then it is a wonderful thing. This, of course, has always marked the Jewish .people. When Jews came to this country we had a strong sense of family but we encouraged our children to go to school. The Italians, who also had a strong sense of family, did not want their children to go to school and that is why truancy laws were passed in America, but talent is not everything. Talent is only part. We also have to have family responsibility. We need Ephraim and Menashas and they are bound together. That is why we bless our children with the blessing, "May G-d make you like Ephraim and Menasha." May you cooperate together and make talented people and not look down on. people untalented. May people in a family who are not talented do not hate and envy those who do have talent but they should work together.  Talent and family must work together and if they do work together then the Jewish people can thrive and the Mashiach surely will come quickly in our day. Amen.