VAERA 1986 - 2

In the Torah portion Vaera we learn how G-d told Moshe not to be discouraged, and He told Moshe and Aaron to go before Pharaoh and to begin the plagues.  It is interesting that after we learn the genealogy of Moshe and Aaron, it puts Aaron's name before Moshe.  It says, "and he, Aaron and Moshe, that G-d said to them, 'Bring out the Sons of Israel from the land of Egypt.'" At other times it mentions Moshe first "and G-d said to Moshe and Aaron saying, 'When Pharaoh will speak to you.'"  The rabbis ask, how come Aaron is sometimes mentioned first and at other times Moshe is mentioned first?  Some rabbis answer that when it speaks about bringing out the Sons of Israel it mentions Aaron first because Aaron was closer to the Jewish people than Moshe.  He endured slavery with them.  He was raised with them.  Moshe, on the other hand, is mentioned first when they went to speak to Pharaoh because Moshe understood the Egyptian court better than Aaron.  He was raised there.  He knew its mores and customs.  Aaron was also closer to the people because he was more like the people.  They could identify with him more.  It was hard to conceive that Moshe could commit the sins that they were committing, that Moshe could understand their problems and temptations.  They could conceive, though, that Aaron could be such a person.  Aaron they could identify with closely.
Other rabbis say that the reason Aaron is mentioned first sometimes and then Moshe is mentioned first at other times is because they were Shekuleem, they were equivalent.  The word "Shekel" in Hebrew means "weight" that on a scale you put known weights on one end and objects you want to weigh on the other.  As Moshe would be put on one end of the scale and Aaron on the other, they would balance out.  How can the rabbis say this?  After all, Moshe was a greater man than Aaron.  Moshe received the Ten Commandments.  Moshe did not stumble with the sin of the golden calf.  Moshe's intellect, the rabbis say, was able to pierce mountains.  This is all true, but, yet, the rabbis say Aaron and Moshe were equal.  They were equal because they both lived up to their potential.  They both became the best they could become.  They did not begin with equal talents.  Aaron was better with people.  Aaron was an Olaiv Sholem and a Rodaiv Sholem, he was a lover of peace and the pursuer of peace.  Moshe, on the other hand, had different qualities.  The reason why they were equal is because they both became the best they could become.  It did not mean that they did not slip once in a while, but they both tried to live up to their potential.  

So many parents today have expectations of their children which are unrealistic.  Their children do not have the talents the parents want developed.  This does not mean the children are not worthy.  As long as they live up to their potential, that is all that can be required.
Today is also Rosh Chodesh.  The rabbis say that Moshe could not understand three things.  G-d had to show it to him.  One was the menorah.  That's why it says "Ze Maseh Menorah".  The other was the Jewish calendar.  That is why it says "HaChodesh Haze Lochem".  The third was when it came to the laws of kosher.  It says "Ze Tome".  The rabbis say that by the use of the word "Ze" it means that G-d had to show Moshe what He meant.  Moshe did not understand why these three things are what is necessary in order to lead a successful life.  It is not important that you become a lawyer or a doctor or an intellectual or a plumber or an electrician in order to be successful in life.  What you need to be successful in life are these three qualities.

We all know that the menorah sheds light.  Today scientifically we do not know what light is.  Some say it is a particle, some say it is a wave, but we do know two things: light must constantly move and must bear a message.  Also, from one candle you can light thousands of other candles and the original candle is not diminished in any way.  In order to be a successful human being you have to be a giving person.  You must constantly want to grow and give of yourself and your time.
The second thing Moshe did not understand was the calendar.  The Jewish calendar is based on the new moon.  Many people think that the new moon is really the full moon, but it is not.  The new moon is the tiny sliver of the moon in the sky after it returns after a few days of darkness.  In order to be a successful person you must have the courage to come back from adversity.  Adversity must never destroy you.  You must have the constant capacity to renew yourself.

The third thing Moshe did not understand was the laws of kashruth.  The laws of kashruth teach us that there are certain things people do not do.  We have to learn how to curb our appetites.  This we understand much better because of the prevalence of drugs.  Recently some parents came to see me.  Their children were brilliant scholars at Rice.  At a party, either by accident or deliberately, they took LSD.  Today they are both psychotic and will never hold jobs.  There are certain things a mentsch never does.  He never tries to see how it feels to wound or hurt or kill a person or cheat.  A mentsch knows there are certain things in life he can never do.

In order to be successful in life a person must have a giving personality, he must have the courage to rebound from adversity, and he must know that a mentsch never does certain things.  These are the qualities which are necessary for a successful life.  Both Moshe and Aaron had them.  They lived up to their potential.  It does not make any difference whether or not your child is a lawyer or doctor or accountant.  What is important is that he live up to his potential and have these qualities.  If he does, he is a success.  If he does not, he is not.

I am reminded of the story they tell about a father who wanted his son to go to college.  The boy did not want to, but the father insisted and he took the boy to a professor to be tested to see what he was good at.  After he had the boy tested he went to the professor and said, "Well, what will my boy be when he graduates from college?"  The professor looked at him and said, "About 35 or 40."  It is important that parents allow their children to fulfill their potential, not the dreams of what their parents want them to be, but what they can be.