TOLDOS 1990

In the Torah portion Toldos we learn how Rivka cannot have a child, but she prays for a child and Yitzchak prays that she should have a child, and pretty soon G-d listens to her prayers and she becomes pregnant, but it is a difficult pregnancy.  The Torah says, "And the children struggled together within her, and she said, 'If so, why is this I?'"  The English translation has it as, "Whyfore do I live?" following Rashi's interpretation.  However, that is not what the Torah says.  The Torah says, "Why me?" in effect.  "And she went to inquire of G-d."  G-d told her that "two nations are in your womb, two nations from your innards will separate and one people shall be strong and the elder shall serve the younger." This seems a very strange answer because she could have been told that the reason why she is having such a difficult pregnancy is because she has twins, so why does the Torah, first of all, say that she said, "What am I?  What is this for me?" and then why did the Torah tell us that G-d gave this strange answer to a problem of a difficult pregnancy?
Later on in the Torah portion we learn how before Yitzchak tells Esau that he will bless him he asks Esau to go out and hunt him a hunt and make some dainty dishes from the venison which he will hunt.  Why did Yitzchak require that Esau do anything for him of this nature?  Why didn't he just tell him, "Come here, my son, and I will bless you,"?
It seems to me that all these questions are related.  Rivka asked the question why me because she knew that every one of the patriarchs and every one of the matriarchs was very important for the covenant, that the covenant which Abraham had made with G-d was for a purpose:  to help perfect this world, to help make it a better place.  Abraham laid the foundation of the covenant by stressing chesed, kindness, because without kindness there can be no covenant.  His belief in the one G-d led him also to understand that that one G-d demands kindness and compassion from us, and that unless we are willing to put ourselves out for others then religion, itself, is not much good.  However, that is only

the first layer of the covenant.  The second layer was conveyed to us by Yitzchak, who said that based upon the obligation to help others we also have as part of this covenant the obligation to look inward in order to find G-d within ourselves and to look outward also to establish this type of relationship with others also based upon ritual and prayer, etc.  Therefore, she knew that Avraham contributed something to this covenant and Yitzchak contributed and Sarah, of course, contributed much to the covenant by being a partner to Abraham and in chesed and also by her intuitive knowledge of how to apply this chesed to individuals, something which Abraham, the rabbis say, did not have as sufficient as Sarah.  He was lacking this quality.
But Rivka wondered, why was I chosen?  Why was I chosen to be the matriarch
of the family?  Until she became pregnant perhaps she would have said, "Well,
I am only an interim stepping stone for Yitzchak until he finds a wife who
will produce children for him to carry on the covenant."  Perhaps she thought
that until she became pregnant that maybe she was not going to be one of the
matriarchs of Israel, but she wondered, why me?  After all, I came from a family
of swindlers.  I came from an environment which was the antithesis of the chesed
which Abraham is teaching.  What's more, my family were idol worshippers, so
why me?  Of course, the rabbis tell us that the reason Rivka was chosen was
just because of these two qualities.  She transcended her environment.  She
overcome nature and nurture, so to speak.  We all know that there is an argument,
what is more important, nature or nurture?  We now know that a person's genes
are determinant in life.  They have made scientific studies and found that
between 60 and 70% of a person's likes and dislikes are predetermined, that
the environment affects maybe 20 or 30%, maybe 35% of a person's likes or dislikes.
They did it with identical twins who were separated from birth, and so Rivka,
too, was chosen to be a matriarch to teach us that we can transcend our environment
and even our nature.  We can do good, that it is not true, as many people have
said in America, that the sole determinant of a person's criminality is his environment.
We know that the same ghettos that produce the finest athletes in the world are
many times looked upon as a terrible breeding place of crime and a place of no
scholarship whatsoever.  Of course, we know that when we used to live in those
ghettos we produced a great deal of scholars and not very many good athletes,
that it has something more to do than environment.  Of course, the environment
is a factor, but there is more to it than environment.  Of course, when the Jewish
people left these inner city ghettos more of their children could go to college
because now they could afford it, but we also know that it is not just the environment
and it is not just nature; it is the decisions that a person makes in life.
What are the choices that a person makes in life?
That is, of course, why learning is so important.  We have to learn the moral
boundaries of life.  In our day and age moral education has been completely neglected.
In fact, we have taken all values out of the public school systems.  We have
neglected morality, to teach people the difference between right and wrong.
Unless we are going to establish that it is going to be very difficult.  That
is why, of course, Rivka had twins.  Esau and Yaacov were identical.  They may
not have been identical twins but certainly they were fraternal twins.  They
had almost the same genetic material.  They had the same environment, but, yet
one turned out to be a pious, righteous person and the other one turned out to
be a ruffian.  The reason for this, of course, was that Yaacov studied and, not
only that, he was more under his mother's influence.  Yitzchak, unfortunately,
was a passive man who never told his children anything.  He did not set limits
for his children.  He did not tell them the boundaries of morality, and, therefore,
Esau, who was not so much under his mother's influence, became a ruffian.  Yaacov,
though, who had these moral limits set for him, who also studied, he learned
how to be, so to speak, a mentsch in the world.  That is extremely important. It is extremely important that we teach our children these things.
Why was it, though, that Yitzchak seemed to prefer Esau in place of Yaacov? The answer is because perhaps Yitzchak thought that Yaacov could not make it in the outside world, that it is not enough to have moral values and be separate from the world.  He knew you had to be part of the world.  Perhaps he thought that Yaacov would not be able to make it in the real world, that he would withdraw from the world.  He thought because of Esau's outgoing nature that Esau was actually applying the moral principles that he learned to the outside world.  He was wrong. He did not know that Esau outside the home acted different than inside the home. Yitzchak was blind.  Yaacov acted outside the home the same way he acted inside the home.  We all know that in the world nothing will ever be done unless people have ambition.  The rabbis say that there were three blessings that were given to the world:  the evil inclination; envy; and mercy.  We all understand why mercy is important, but what about the evil inclination and envy?  How could that be good?  That is good because it allows the world to progress.  Without people have ambition, and, of course, the evil inclination only means selfishness, working for your own ambition, without ambition nothing gets done.  Without the envy among scholars no papers get written.  As long as they are held in moral check, then we know what the boundaries are.  One of the reasons they say the Soviet Union is in such a mess is because they stifled ambition.  Therefore, they say that in the Soviet Union people pretend to work and they also are given pretend wages.  If you stifle ambition, if you stifle envy completely then you will not have a society that will function.  Yitzchak knew that Esau had ambition. He felt that Yaacov had no ambition.  Therefore, what could Yaacov have accomplished in the world?  Esau could accomplish something in the world as long as he also had strong moral limits.  Unfortunately, Esau did not have these strong moral limits.  Yaacov had these moral limits.  Rivka knew that Yaacov could operate
outside the home as well as inside the home, that Yaacov, too, had ambition but his ambition was tempered by morality.
That is, of course, unfortunate that our modern day world in America where we stress ambition so much that our ambitions many times are not reined in by morality. That is, of course, why we had the S & L scandals where people had so much ambition to accomplish great things and to make fortunes for themselves but they could not abide by the rules.  They would only take a little bit because they would take the money and pay back what they had illegally or manipulatively taken. The same thing applies in other fields as well where the competitive pressure becomes so great the person does not want to admit failure so he plagarizes other people's work.  Perhaps that was what happened to these "Keating Five", these senators who took money for their campaign funds because they needed to be reelected and they overstepped the border, maybe, in coming to bat for people who had done illegal acts.
We can see that Rivka had a very important thing to give to the covenant.  Rivka gave the idea to the covenant that a person can overcome their environment and overcome even their heridity and genes by making correct moral choices based on morality.  When Rivka knew what was right and wrong she could follow it. When she felt it was important to follow right and wrong she could follow it. That is, of course, what we must inculcate into our children.  If we do that then the crime wave would drop because people would not do crimes because they would besmirch their own image.  Rivka gave us the idea that it is a constant struggle, though.  The struggle will always be here for all of us to overcome the excesses of ambition and envy.  Yes, these are blessings but they also have to be limited.  Rivka gave us the lesson of how it is that we can achieve chsed, kindness, in the world through ambition by setting limits of morality.
I am reminded of the story they tell about a man who came to the rabbi and said, "Rabbi, I have a terrible problem."  The rabbi asked what his problem was.  The man said, "Well, I gave $4000 to a man to get plastic surgery." The rabbi said, "So, what's your problem?"  The man said, "Now I don't know what he looks like." Unfortunately, there are many good people who, because of their ambition, go beyond the limits.  We no longer know what they look like.  They, themselves, do not realize that they have stepped across the border, that they have gone beyond the bounds.  The reason, of course, is because they did not realize that they must keep their ambition and their envy in check.  Yes, there will be a constant struggle, but if a person holds to strict moral principles and knows what the boundaries are, that person can persevere and overcome and be a good person in spite of all obstacles as was Rivka.  Let us hope we will all do this so the Mashiach will come.  Amen.