Noah 1996

In the Torah portion, Noah, we learn about the great flood that G-d brought upon the world. The rabbis are of divided mind whether Noah would have also been considered righteous in Abraham's generation. They say that because he never argued with G-d. He never tried to save the people of his generation like Abraham tried to save the people of Sodom and Gomorrah; how Moshe pleaded for the Jewish people when G-d was going to destroy them. Some rabbis say that because Noah took 120 years to build the ark, he waited until the people came to him so he could convince them to repent. He would not argue with G-d. Others say that Noah did not have sufficient commitment to the principles he believed, and that's why even when the waters started to rise, he, himself, hesitated before he entered the ark. After the flood, G-d appeared to Noah and He said that He was erecting a treaty with him and with his children after him never to destroy the world with a flood. He gave Noah a sign of this covenant, a rainbow that G-d put in the clouds. Every time the rainbow would appear, G-d would remember the covenant between Him and humanity that never again would He destroy the world with a flood. Even in our Rosh Hashonna prayers, we remember this covenant. We remember how G-d remembered Noah and promised never to destroy the world again. G-d made a commitment to u$. That's why the word bris is used. G-d gave us as a sign of this commitment (the rainbow). Commitment is a necessary ingredient to accomplish anything in the world. One of the problems we face today is people do not want to make a commitment. Today in our synagogue, we are celebrating an oif ruf and a bar mitzvah. A couple is about to make a commitment to each other and a young man is publicly making a commitment to take his place as an observant Jew in our community.  Commitment is the secret ingredient which will ensure that this couple's marriage will endure and that this young man will be able to gain spirituality from Judaism and be able to uphold his part of the covenant with G-d, Trial marriages never work. In fact, if the divorce statistics are to be believed, people who have trial marriages divorce at a much greater rate than those who have never had a trial marriage.  It seems very logical that if a couple lives together before marriage to try it out, they can tell whether their marriage will work, but it is not so.

There is one ingredient missing in a trial marriage, and that is commitment.  It is the commitment that places the psychological strain on each spouse which will either make or break a marriage. I can attend school as an auditor and look like every college student, attend every class, take copious notes. I can even live in a dorm and fool around on Saturday night like other college students, but I will not be a student because I will not have to take tests. I will not receive a grade. My future is not dependent upon my studying. Psychologically, I will not be in any way subject to the pressures of other college students. I will look like a college student but I will not be (me. The same is true if I decide to live overseas as a tourist, If I go to Israel and decide to live there for a year, or even a week, I can pretend that I am Israeli and eat the same food and frequent the same restaurants and shops, speak only Hebrew, but I will not be an Israeli.  My income comes from America.  I am not subject to being called up to the army reserves, Meelueem, I will not have any money worries.  I can go back to Houston any time I like-Psychologically, I am not an Israeli. I am not subject to the same pressures Israelis are and, psychologically, I cannot understand what they are going through. It used to be a fad a few years ago that kids from a rich neighborhood would slum it. They would live in a poor neighborhood, wear poor clothes, eat poor food, live in dilapidated apartments, but they were not in any way experiencing what the people who live in these neighborhoods experience. Every weekend, they would go home and shower and have their mother cook a home-cooked meal. Psychologically, they were not under the pressures of poor people who lived in these neighborhoods. I cannot accept a job and decide that one day I will go in to work at 9:00 a.m. and the next day I will go at 1:00 p.m. and the next day at 4:00 p.m. or not even go in.  Unless I am the boss, I cannot get away with it.  It takes commitment to make anything work in this world. Trial marriages never work because there is no commitment in them, and it is the commitment which asserts the psychological pressure on the couple. The same thing is true of religion. People who feel that Judaism is nothing more than a bunch of folkways and nice customs, and who decide to observe these customs when they  feel like it will get very little out of Judaism.  

To feel Judaism's spirituality, you have to make a commitment. It is only when you make a commitment to live it fully day in and day out that you will gain anything from Judaism. G-d gave us a sign of His commitment to humanity never to destroy the world, the sign of the rainbow. What is a rainbow? A rainbow is composed of light and water. When the rays of the sun hit the drops of water, they are refracted into many colors. The same thing is true in life. There are light and tears in every relationship, and many times we can only see the beautiful colors and hues in our relationships when we have tears. A young wife may be sick and her young husband may have a very important appointment the next morning, but he may have to get up and take care of the baby in the middle of the night because his wife does not feel well. Through this experience, he will appreciate her more* Many times our commitment becomes solidified when we are able to go through problems together and overcome them, We see so many more brilliant hues and colors in our relationship. True commitment allows you to see the beauty in your spouse even when times are tough. The same applies to Judaism. When times are tough, it is then that we see how Judaism allows us to overcome our crises. The rainbow is also positioned in a funny way. You know that when you pull a bow, you put the string next to you and the bow away from you, and the farther back you pull the string, the farther the arrow will go. The rainbow has the bow placed against heaven and the string facing the earth. This is to teach us that G-d, in His commitment to us, is not going to fling poison arrows at us.  In a marriage relationship, too, the spouses have to be careful not to sling poison arrows against each other. Yes, there will be disagreements, but one must be careful not to try to destroy the other person's integrity in order to win an argument. True, things have to be discussed. It is much better to discuss them rather than to give your spouse the silent treatment or neglect. This will only lead to the spouse looking for greener pastures. We have to be careful not to sling either verbal arrows or hurtful actions against our spouse if we want our marriage to endure. The same is true in Judaism. We cannot constantly mock it and make fun of it and treat it as if it is some terrible inconvenience if we want it to endure. We must treat it lovingly and must value its life enhancing properties. If we do, then Judaism will be a major force in our lives and give us the spirituality we all need.  It is commitment which is the key to marriage and it is commitment which is the key to getting anything spiritual out of Judaism,

I am reminded of the story they tell about a very kind-hearted man who was driving down a farm road when he saw a load of hay had fallen off a truck- A young man, 14 years old, was trying with all his might to put the hay back on the truck with a pitchfork. He was sweating terribly and his face was beet red. The man stopped and went over to the young man and said, "Young man, rest five minutes and I’ll help you, and together we'll get that hay back on the truck.” The young man said, "I can't, I can't. My father won't like it.”  The man said, "Everyone is entitled to a break.  Here, go to my car,  I have some cold water. Then I’ll help you.” The young man said, "I can’t, I can't. My father won't like it. At this point, the man became angry and said, "What kind of a father do you have? Is he a slave driver? Where is he? Let me talk to him” The teenager replied, "He's under the load of hay." That's commitment. We all need commitment. We all have to be there for each other, and especially in a marriage, each spouse has to be there for the other. The same applies to Judaism if you want to derive any spirituality from it. Let's all hope and pray that we will all realize the importance of commitment so the Mashiach will come quickly in our day. Amen.