LECH LECHA 1884

In the Torah portion Le Lecha we learn how G-d tells Abraham "and they will be blessed by you all the families of the earth."  G-d promises Abraham that He will make him into a great nation and that He will make great his name and that he will be a blessing. It is interesting to note that G-d says that they will be blessed by you all the "families" of the earth.  It does not say nations or individuals but families.  We Jews are a great people to the world because in the past, anyway, we knew how to raise good families.  Because a child knew who he was, knew that he was always loved no matter what that he had a sense of identity he never had to worry about who he was and whether or not he was loved and he or she was then able to go out into the world and achieve because in themselves they were secure.  They did not feel alienated or useless.  They had someone to bring their achievements to.  We Jews are insignificant population-wise in the world. There are more people in Texas than there are Jews in the world.  There may be six million Jews in America (nobody knows for sure), may be three million in Russia and three and a half million in Israel and may be three million more scattered all over the world, and yet from this statistically insignificant people have come over a third of the Nobel prize winners, and we know the  great contributions we Jews have made to the world, and these accomplishments have been made possible mainly because we had families.  We gave our children inner security so they could go out and achieve.  Unfortunately, in America today the family has disintegrated.  Even the Jewish family is on the road to complete disintegration.  The extended family has just about disappeared and the nuclear family, as is the tendency of everything nuclear, tends to explode.  The Jewish family in America is not what it used to be.  Individualism is rampant.  The family is thought to be a drag on self-development.  Perhaps those of you who came from more traditional societies will be able to reverse this trend and make the Jewish family once again what it used to be.  This Torah portion Le Lecha is really a story of how Abraham tried to create a family and how he failed three times.  He first tried to build a family with Lot, his nephew.  He failed because all Lot was interested in was making money, and Lot was not beyond using shady tactics in order to make money.  When, because of his questionable business activities, Abraham confronted Lot and told him that they should part ways Lot chose to live in Sodom and Gemorra because there he could make a lot of money even though he knew it would be bad for his children, that it would corrupt them and, most probably, himself, too.  All Lot was interested in was money.  Unfortunately, in America today we have the same problem.  People are interested in money and only making money.  They are willing to sacrifice their families in order to make money. They are not willing to give their children any time.  They are not willing to do those things which are necessary in order to have a successful family if it conflicts with their desire to make money.  Money is the most important thing, not money that is needed to live, but a lot of money which is needed to show that you are a big man or big woman. Abraham could not create a family with Lot because all Lot was interested in was making money.  Abraham, too, wanted to make a family with Eliezer, but he could not because Eliezer had no initiative.  He was completely passive.  He only did what he was told. He got by with the least possible.  There are many people today who treat family in the same way.  They are completely passive and never want to take the initiative.  They are afraid of family and afraid it will get in their way.  They will not go out of their way to help any of the members of their family.  In fact, in the public school today we are taught that you should leave your family, get away from your family.  It is almost a crime today for children to live in the same city as their parents.  People tell me, “Rabbi, why should I go to that wedding?  I’m not getting married.  You mean I should spend $1000 to go across the country go a wedding just for a piece of herring?” or they tell me, "Rabbi, I can’t go to a funeral.  It makes me depressed.” or “I can't go to the hospital to visit my friend or family.  It makes me feel creepy." You cannot build a family unless you are willing to take the initiative, unless you feel responsibility and want to be in each other's company.  Abraham could not build a family with Eliezer because he had no initiative.  Abraham then tried to build a family with Ishmael, his son by Hagar, but the Torah says he was a wild man, a "Para Adam." He could not build a family with Ishmael because he acted wildly.  People today who want to run around cannot build a family.  They cannot nurture the feelings of loyalty and dependability and trust which are necessary in order to build a family.  People today want to have several mistresses and a wife all at the same time.  It is impossible.  They even tell me that adultery strengthens marriage.  Nothing could be more foolish.  People wantto take drugs.  They want to try everything and do everything and act wildly.  Not only
does this destroy them but it destroys families.  What kind of an example are they setting for their children?  If the child sees that the parents do not believe in the ideals of family, why should they?  It is like the parent who came to me puffing on a cigarette complaining he could not get his child to stop smoking.  Of course, he couldn't.  I remember the time I went to a doctor who advised me that in order to maintain good health I should never smoke and watch my weight.  At the time he told me this he was smoking a cigar and had such a pot belly he could not reach the desk.  I did not know whether
to take him seriously or laugh.  We have just witnessed the first execution of a woman in America for over 20 years.  She had poisoned her mother and her fiancé and some other relatives for insurance money.  She had a drug habit and needed money.  If you want to raise a family you cannot just be concerned about money, you must take the initiative, and you cannot act wildly.  We Jews have always been a blessing to the world because of our families.  I can tell you right now that Jewish students are not what they used to be.  Their grades are way down.  Juvenile delinquency is way up.  Alcoholism and drug abuse are way up, and the reason for this is because the families are way down. Let us hope and pray that the Jewish family will rejuvenate and resuscitate so the Jewish family can once again be a blessing to the families of the world.  I am reminded of the story they tell about a teenager who lost control of his car and drove through the back of a playhouse right into the theater.  The director, after ascertaining the boy was not hurt, looked at him and said, "Is this the way you want to break into show  business?"  The boy said, "No sir, this is just a stage I’m passing through." Let us hope and pray that this decline of the Jewish family is only a stage that we are passing through, that the Jewish family will resuscitate itself so it will once again be a blessing to all mankind.