KI SISSA 1990

In the Torah portion Ki Sissa we learn about the sin of the golden calf.   We learn how the people become very upset because Moshe is delayed in coming.  They counted the days wrong for Moshe's stay on Mount Sinai.  They should have started from the night he went up, although he went up during the day, but they did not since all Jewish holidays start from the night before, and they then became very upset that Moshe had not come when they thought he was supposed to come, and they demanded from Aaron that he build a golden calf for them.  When Moshe was up on Mount Sinai and G‑d knew what was going on, He turned to Moshe and said, "Go down.  Your people has corrupted themselves which you brought out from the land of Egypt."  And Moshe turns and goes down the mountain and he takes with him the two tablets on which were written the Ten Commandments.  When Moshe sees himself what is going on he sees the calf and the dancing and the sexual immorality and human sacrifice, etc.  Moshe got very angry and he threw the tablets from his hand and broke them under the mountain.  The question could be asked, why did Moshe even bring the tablets down?  G‑d had told him what was happening.  G‑d had told him the people were worshipping the golden calf.  Why did Moshe Rabbeinu take the tablets down or why didn't he just break them there?  Why only after he saw with his own eyes and heard with his own ears what was going on did he take the tablets and break them?  After all, he believed what G‑d had told him, but there is a difference between hearing about something and seeing and hearing it yourself.  Moshe Rabbeinu knew, of course, that G‑d had told him the truth, but he thought perhaps the Jewish people had intellectually hit upon the idea of idols and that they were merely substituting idols for G‑d, etc., something that could be remedied, but when he came and actually saw the immorality that was going on, then, of course, he threw down the tablets and broke them.  It is true that unless you experience something yourself it is not the same thing.  You can attend hundreds of brises and weddings but when it is a bris of your own and a wedding of your own it is altogether a different experience.  The same thing is true with comforting people.  You can comfort hundreds of people after their loss, but until you suffer a loss it is not the same thing.  It is altogether a different experience.  Rea is not like Shmea.  Seeing something is not like hearing about something.  When you have the actual experience of something it has a different effect upon you.  That is also true, but perhaps there is another reason that Moshe Rabbeinu broke the tablets only after he saw what was going on.

If we look at this Torah portion we can see that before we learn about the sin of the golden calf we first learn about how the Jewish people were commanded to give a half a shekel.  It says, "G‑d said that you should lift up their heads, that everyone was counted by their giving half a shekel to maintain the Temple."  We also learn about purity.  We learn that after the Kohanim brought the sacrifices they still had to wash themselves with the laver before they entered the Holy.  We learn about the spices and about Betzalel constructing the Temple.  Most importantly, we learn about Shabbos.  We learn about Shabbos before we learn about the sin of the golden calf and we learn about Shabbos after the sin of the golden calf.  We learn about Shabbos three times in this Torah portion.

We also learn how immediately after G‑d relents to Moshe's prayer and forgives the Jewish people, G‑d tells Moshe to take the Jewish people to the land of Israel.  We know there is no chronological order in the Torah, but the Torah did not have to put the sin of the golden calf between teaching us about the half shekel that the Jewish people gave to maintain the Temple and between Shabbos on one side and Shabbos on the other side and about the commandment to go up to the land of Israel.  What is happening here is that the Torah is teaching us what exactly was it that was so bad about the sin of the golden calf.  After all, in other times the Jewish people had committed immoral practices.  At other times they had shown weakness of spirit, but what was so bad about the sin of the golden calf that Moshe Rabbeinu threw down the tablets?  By seeing what surrounds this sin of the golden calf as is told in this week's Torah portion, we can see what their sin was.

Their sin was that the Jewish people did not want to take responsibility for their acts.  They wanted to say that G‑d told them to do this.  That was why they were so upset when Moshe did not come down from the mountain.  They needed a strong leader who would take the responsibility from off their shoulders, and when Moshe did not come down to tell them what was right and wrong, then they said that G‑d told them what to do and what was right and wrong.  Human nature is such that many times we like to be relieved of all responsibility.  If we can find some leader, like the German people did, who can tell them that all those base things, those many base urges are right and that we should indulge them, just go ahead and do it, because basically we want to do it anyway.  That is why being an actor or actress is so sought after an occupation because people can do all sorts of things that they would not normally do and they can say all sorts of things that they would not normally say and they can act in certain ways that they would not normally act because when they are an actor or actress on the stage they are not themselves.  Nobody can blame them.  They are not responsible.  That is a terrible thing not to assume responsibility for your life and for your actions.  People did not want to assume responsibility for themselves.

The second thing that we learn from this story is that the people did not know how to handle their pain.  In life there is a lot of pain.  There is the pain of death and disease and frustration and failed relationships.  There is so much pain in life, psychic pain.  In fact, the reason why most alcoholics drink is not because they like liquor.  In fact, most of them do not like liquor at all, but it takes away most of the pain, and they do not want to feel that pain.  They do not want to feel the psychic pain that they have.  They do not know how to deal with being shamed by their parents or shamed by their spouse or shamed by their children or shamed by their own ambition.  They do not know how to deal with this shame so, therefore, they would rather lose this pain in alcohol and drugs, which cause, at least temporarily, their pain to go away.  The people who worshipped the golden calf engaged in these type of rites so that their pain would go away.  Moshe was very upset with the people because they were trying to shed their pain in an immoral fashion.

That's why when we start out in this Torah portion it says, "Ki Sissa Rosh - when you lift up the head".  Use your head.  We all have to take responsibility for our actions.  We have to take responsibility for who we are no matter which way the cards are dealt us.  We should never give up and we should take responsibility for our life.  Those people who, whether they live in the ghetto or River Oaks, fail to take responsibility for their lives end up social problems, end up in mental institutions.  They blame everyone else for their problems.  They blame their mother, their father, society, etc., but, the truth of the matter is, if they would take responsibility for their lives they could make something of themselves.  They could improve their condition.  That's why it says here "Rosh".  You have a head on your shoulders.  Use it.  Use it to get ahead.  Use it to do those things that you know you should do.  That is why people explain that the word Israel, itself, means Lee Rosh, to me is a head.  I have a head.  I do not have to sit here passively.  I do not have to sit here and accept these conditions that are intolerable.  I can change them.  I can make things better.  I can take responsibility for my life.  The Jewish people who came out of Egypt were a slave people.  They did not know how to take responsibility for their lives.  They did not know how to be responsible for themselves, and that is, of course, a very important attribute of Judaism.  We say that it is only through assuming responsibility, through assuming mitzvahs, that you become a human being, and only by taking responsibility for other and the world do you find yourself.  So many people today are alienated, and why are they alienated?  They are alienated because they do not know how to take responsibility for themselves.  If the Jewish people will expend themselves and help others and take responsibility for their neighbor and for their people and for the problems of the world they will find that they can take responsibility for themselves, too.  That has always been the hallmark of the Jew, his willingness to take responsibility.  If you find conditions are not right or good, then take responsibility and try to change it and make it better.
In the second aspect that the people of the golden calf failed to appreciate was that the way you alleviate the pain of life is by assuming responsibility.  The more you find yourself is by attaching yourself to others, and the more you lose yourself is by trying to get into yourself.  We also have another mechanism to deal with the pain of life and that is Shabbos.  That is why Shabbos is stressed here.  Shabbos every day we renew ourselves.  That is why it says about Shabbos, it does not just say that six days G‑d made the heavens and the earth and on the seventh day He rested, it also says and He refreshed Himself, He renewed Himself".  Shabbos allows the Jews to deal with the pain of life.  Just as Acharam said, "More than the Jews have kept the Shabbos, the Shabbos have kept the Jews," because during this time we are able to regenerate our spiritual energies.  We are able to deal with the psychic pain around us.  We are able to put into perspective that which is important in life and that which is not important.  Every Shabbos we have an opportunity to rejuvenate ourselves.  That is the only way that we will be able to deal with the pain of the world.  Yes, we should get a goal.  Immediately after G‑d had relented and said that the Jewish people could now continue, G‑d told Moshe to take the Jewish people to the land of Israel.  Make them assume responsibility.  Give them a goal, something to work for, and then they will be able to overcome their own sense of inadequacy.  It is important in life that we remember that the sin of the golden calf was not just the people worshipping the golden calf, but that this sin took place because the people refused to take responsibility for their lives, and because they thought that they could deal with the pain of life with all sorts of immoral and unethical conduct.  The only way that we can really lead a good life is by assuming responsibility for ourselves, for our people, for our family, for our community, and by realizing that the Torah has given us wonderful mechanisms to deal with the pain of life so we can constantly rejuvenate ourselves, constantly refresh ourselves, and constantly gird ourselves again to face the inevitable struggles of life.  Shabbos is that pause which refreshes.  The Sabbath is that day which allows us to continue to be G‑d's partner in creation to make this a better world.

I am reminded of the story they tell about a little polar bear who came to his daddy and said, "Daddy, am 1100% polar bear?" The daddy said, "Well, my father was a polar bear, my mother was a polar bear, your mother's father was a polar bear and your mother's mother was a polar bear, so I guess you are 100% polar bear.  Why are you asking?" The young polar bear looked at his father and said, "Because I am freest."  It is not enough just to come from good roots.  It is not enough just to come from families and traditions that have assumed responsibility for generations.  We must do those things that are necessary in order to us to assume responsibility, too.  We must reach out to others, and we must establish lifestyles which allow us to refresh ourselves weekly so we will be able to face the struggle of life with courage, with dedication, with devotion, so the Mashiach will come.  Amen.