CHAYE SARAH 1988
 
In the Torah portion Chaye Sarah we learn of the death of Sarah.  The text reads, "And they were the years of Sarah 100 years and 20 years and 7 years, the years of the life of Sarah."  The rabbis ask the question, why does it have to repeat the years of the life of Sarah?  It was enough just to say the life of Sarah was 127 years.  Why does it have to continue saying, "these are the years of the life of Sarah." The rabbis explain that this was actually Sarah's era more than it was even Abraham's era.  Abraham and Sarah both had a job to do to spread the idea of a G-d Who wants us to life ethical and decent lives.  Abraham understood the ideas perhaps better than Sarah understood the ideas, but Sarah understood how to apply the ideas.  Abraham understood the cause, but Sarah understood the people. The rabbis say that Sarah had "V'Uhachodesh", which meant that she was able to apply the ideas of chesed correctly to the people at hand.
This Torah portion, the rabbis say, is also filled with an anomaly.  Usually the Torah is very laconic in its style.  From one word or even from the grammar of one word we learn a plethora of laws.  All the laws of Shabbos and some of the very important laws of Rosh Hashonna and Yom Kippur we learn just from inference.  We learn indirectly from learning how words and expression are derived from the text, from one paragraph to another, etc.  But here the Torah spends 67 sentences telling us about how after Sarah died Abraham enjoined his servant, Elozer, to find a wife for his son, Yitzchak, and how he made him take an oath, and how Eliezer went to find his bride for Yitzchak and all the events that transpired, and how when he came to find this bride how he told the girl, "Please give me a little water," and how she replied, "Not only will I give you water but I will also give your camels water."  Then these incidents are repeated over again when he meets her family and he tells them about the incident. Then the events are repeated almost again when he tells them that it is
 
important that she be able to go with him immediately and not wait.  We see that the Torah repeats itself.  The rabbis all ask, why is it that the Torah repeats itself so much here?
The answers that the rabbis give is also, at first glance, not very satisfying. The answer they give is that the conversation of the patriarchs is more pleasing to G-d than even the laws of Judaism.  What can this mean that the conversations of the patriarchs is even more pleasing to G-d than the laws of Judaism?  The answer that the rabbis give is that many times it is not important what you do but how you do it, that how you do it is almost as important sometimes as what you do.  The laws of Judaism are many times clear:  that you have to treat each other with compassion and kindness and consideration, that you always have to be moral in your dealings. There is a difficulty.  The difficulty is that many times we do not know how to practice chesed.  When we do chesed, kindness, we also have to do it with chesed, and, therefore, we have to learn how to practice kindness, not just believe in the principles of kindness.  Sarah epitomized the practice of kindness.  She knew how to size people up.  She knew how to deal with people with kindness.  She had this quality which even Abraham lacked. He did not necessarily know how to do kindness with kindness.  The rabbis say that after Sarah died Abraham was blessed by Kol.  Some rabbis explain that it means he was blessed with a son, and others say that he was blessed by a daughter, but other rabbis say that now he was also blessed with this quality of being able to do chesed with chesed.
That is, of course, too, why when we do the Shmone Esre we mention the G-d of Abraham, the G-d of Isaac, and the G-d of Jacob.  Why do we mention all three of them?  Because they each stand for different traits.  Abraham stands for chesed, for kindness.  The very basis of our religion is doing
 
kindness.  Yitzchak stands for avodah, for service, getting close to G-d.
The reason, of course, that many Jews do not come to the synagogue today
is because they do not feel that it is worthwhile to get close to G-d.
They do not believe that they can get close to G-d.  Yitzchak teaches us
a very important component of our religion:  that if we are ultimately
to continue to do deeds of kindness we must believe in G-d and seek to
have a relationship with G-d.  Finally, Yaacov symbolizes truth, that our
religion is not just a bunch of folklore or beautiful ceremonies and pageants,
but it is also true.  Therefore, when we say the Shmone Esre we say the
G-d of Abraham, the G-d of Isaac, the G-d of Jacob.
Then the question is, why is it, though, that when we finish the first brocha of the Shmone Esre that we end "the shield of Abraham"?  The answer the rabbis give is that even kindness, even chesed, you have to do with chesed.  Most assuredly avodah, worship, you have to do with kindness. Many times people feel that the end justifies the means, and, therefore, even in houses of worship they do not deal in truth and with honesty and integrity and many times people, especially in business, do not deal with integrity.  They do not keep their word, etc.  When we are dealing with a relationship with G-d we most certainly have to deal kindly with each other.  We must deal with compassion with each other.  We must not act in such a way as to bring disrepute upon our institutions even though we feel it is important for our institution to do certain things.  Finally, of course, the truth must be done with kindness, that Chesed Shel Ernes is more important.  The truth told with bad intent beats all the lies that you can invent.  Of course, the truth must also be said with kindness. The truth can hurt if it is told in the wrong place at the wrong time. Therefore, we are taught here in this Torah portion especially about the end of the era of Sarah.  Sarah understood that you not only had to believe
 
in kindness, but that you have to do kindness with kindness, that when you do chesed you have to have chesed when you do chesed.
That, of course, is why on this Shabbos we are honoring the Jewish Family Service.  The Jewish Family Service stands for chesed in our community. For 175 years it has tried to help people through its various funds.  Notice that it is called the Jewish Family Service because Abraham could only learn about chesed, how to do chesed with chesed, in the family.  He learned it from Sarah.  The same thing he wanted his son, Yitzchak, to know, that even if Yitzchak was not going to stress chesed so much but avodah, he also had to do avodah with chesed.  Where do you learn chesed?  In a family. You learn how you have to deal with each other kindly, forgive faults. You have to deal with each other compassionately otherwise the family will not hold together.  It does not mean that you do not have standards, but you also have to have a structure in which you know how to get along with people, in which you do not stand on your high horse, in which you learn not to provoke people and if people are provoked you know how to rein in these terrible emotions before you paint yourself into a corner and cannot get out.  The Jewish Family Service recognizes that, that the Jewish people in order to do chesed must have a strong family, that anything that upholds the family and strengthens the family Judaism is for, and anything that weakens the family Judaism abhors.  In order to do chesed, in order to be kind and to do chesed with chesed you have to have a family.  That is why Abraham was so concerned after Sarah died that Yitzchak would get married so that he would be able to continue this tradition of chesed, of kindness. That is, too, why the Jewish Family Service is not just concerned with giving financial help to people but is also involved in family counseling because the family has to be strong, why it has a job program because people unless they have jobs and an economic base will many times be at each other's
 
throats because the economic pressures overwhelm and they are looking to vent their anger on somebody, and usually it is somebody close by.  There are scholarship programs, loan programs for immigrants and elderly people, meals on wheels, etc.  At the very basis of Judaism is chesed.  We must always remember the lesson of Sarah and do chesed with chesed.  Unfortunately, in our day there are many people who believe in kindness and helping but they believe, as George Bernard Shaw once said, that "the more I love humanity in general the more I hate him in particular." We must transfer our lofty ideals to individuals.  We must love individuals not just lofty ideals.
I am reminded of the story of the young man who saw an advertisement to
participate in an amateur night at the rodeo, and he decided he was going
to do it.  He was never on a horse before but he got bareback on a bucking
horse.  He did not last very long and was thrown off the horse and hit
his head.  He was rushed to the hospital because he was unconscious where
he stayed unconscious for about 24 hours.  Finally he recovered and he
looked at the doctor and said, "You know, I finally fulfilled an ambition
of my father."  The doctor said, "Oh, did your father want you to ride
in the rodeo?" He replied, "No, my father wanted me to have my head examined."
Unfortunately, there are too many people in this era who need their heads
examined.  They do not realize that it is not just enough to believe in
chesed and spout all the right ideals, but that you have to practice chesed
on an individual level.  You cannot love humanity in general but hate him
in particular.  We have to remember the era of Sarah.  Sarah taught Abraham
and all of us that it is not enough just to believe in chesed, but you
have to practice chesed with chesed.  Let us all hope and pray that the
Jewish Family Service will continue to practice chesed with chesed and
that all of us will continue to practice chesed with chesed to that the
Mashiach will come.
 
This is a story about a woman named Sadie Fafufnik, who moved into a new apartment.  She called up her friend, Goldie Ginsberg, and said, "Goldie, when you come to visit me, I want you to remember to push the security button of the apartment with your left elbow and open the door with your right elbow, and then when you go to the elevator to get to the 21st floor, you take your left elbow and push the button and with your right elbow you hold open the door until you get in.  Then when you come to my apartment door with your left elbow push the doorbell and with your right elbow you push the door open."  Goldie replied on the phone to Sadie and said, "My goodness gracious!  You would think I had never been to an apartment before. I know how to get into an apartment.  What's all this about left elbow, right elbow?"  Sadie said, "Well, you know, darling, I am moving into a new apartment, and I know that you would want to bring presents."  The Shabbos is a good present that G-d has given the Jewish people to enjoy.